The KKK strikes AGAIN!

So it is nearly time for Festival in the Pines...I should have known that the KKK would strike again....for those of you new to the blog I am not referring to those ridiculous raciest idiots wearing bed sheets! I am referring to my boyfriend of almost 4 years now ex girlfriend...who oddly enough looks a lot like the Caveman in picture on the left...fat with red frizzy hair...the only thing that would make the picture a complete match is if he was wearing a striped sweater in all seasons of the year...from -40 to 110 degree weather.

So here is the deal...I am a keep your friends close and your enemies closer kind of girl...so the KKK is added to my facebook friends so that I can ultimately keep an eye on her ridiculous ass. (note I think I am friends with a majority of the ex's)...anyway, this beast always finds a way to meddle with things and quite honestly piss me off! She has done anything and everything to try to come between me and my boyfriend and at this point has had no success! But I do give her credit for her never ending ways of trying to do so...just don't really care.

The KKK as I refer to her has a thing about posting pictures of when the two were dating...mind you this was over 5 years ago now...but who's counting right??? So last year she had posted a picture of the two of them together at his family's timeshare...I see today she has updated and included several more pictures from the same trip! Get the fuck over it already...are you serious that after 5 freakin years you haven't moved on! WTF!!!!

Move on with life...move away...do something with your dumb ass!

Anyway, I add this blog in the wake of Festival in the Pines....last year was a huge huge huge issue! She wanted Kettle Korn...(her name is Kelly~ie KKK)....and stupid spent his last few dollars on it for her...didn't care that I might want some or that he had never thought to buy me anything out of the blue just cause he knew I liked it...I was irate...(read previous blogs about KKK issues)...so the on going joke between the boyfriends family and myself is that there will be no Kettle Korn this year! And God help him if he does...

Willy Wonka!

Who doesn't like a good helping of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory....just wanted to share with everyone some really great pictures from the Boy being in this fabulous production! He played one of the school kids and also an ompa lumpa...or however you spell it! This was an interesting event for the boy...he really had no intentions of trying out but Kaylee wanted to so we all went down there for the try outs...the boy got talked into trying out between myself and one of the theater managers...while everyone else got up and sang something from a musical the boy sang the song that Justin Timberlake sang at the Espys like 2 years ago...this child is something else!

Long and short of it, the girl went home sad and the boy was in...it was awesome...I saw it twice! Sharing a couple pictures!

Bike In a Box or Not?

So I have a borderline genius who lives in my house...or at least at times he can be...can't spell to save his live but I have heard that this is not an essential part of intelligence...I think he may have been born a few decades to late though. You see he is a trader....not a traitor, but a trader...and a tinkerer...not sure that is a real word but it fits. Neither of these are particularly bad traits to have but combined can cause people to scratch their hands frequently...including myself! So let me tell you about the most recent acquisition!

In December of last year the boyfriend decided that he didn't really think it necessary to own a snowmobile...mind you the year before he traded his dirt bike for a snowmobile for me so that we both had sleds to go! So after searching craigslist and other various ads he found a crotch rocket...my friends we are not talking about an assembled crotch rocket...oh no that would be too easy! What did he find you might ask? Well, essentially it is what I ended up terming a bike in a box...(later on to be referred to as bike in a box 1~if that paints a picture for you)...so, this leads to the tinkering part of the story...within a matter of weeks my gifted boyfriend assembled a bike with all the parts that he had! Amazing right? Wrong....the bike although great turned out to be a huge pain in the ass...no title, couldn't register it, couldn't track down the original person whom he traded a perfectly awesome sled to, the actual owner (PS who is not the man who traded it...lol) most likely potentially sitting in jail! One bike in a box worthless!

This brings us to April/May time frame...once again he is looking through the ads and he finds another crotch rocket...a year newer and more horsies...hmmm appealing! Cost...the amt of selling his car! You heard me, so he brings home...you guessed it! Bike in a box #2...not technically in a box but it had been involved a police chase and was seized only after the idiot riding it crashed it...destroying lots of the parts!

Good news...we still have bike in a box #1 which can be combined with bike in a box #2 to make bike NOT in a box #3! After weeks of tinkering and ordering misc parts that neither bike had or that were not compatible we now have a pretty sweet bike! I say we because I have to take credit somewhere along the line! I mean it is sitting in my garage! Anyway, for me this is pretty exciting! When it is super sunny nice out I think I want to ride just as much as he does...does that make me a biker biatch...hmmm???

C & P plus Depressed!

All Dogs Go to Heaven! This is my baby for those of you who don't know. Sage was a gift to myself and the kids when I left the sperm donor. Ironically she was given to me by my then mother in law! I know you can see how beautiful she is but omg she was the most amazing dog! She was absolutely awesome! She listened like no other there was not a mean bone in your body, but I do not doubt that had she sensed we were in danger she would have taken out the enemy in a minute. She was my best friend through so much...Good and Bad! She loved me as much as I loved her of this I am certain. A fur ball ... the likes of which I am sure I will never get rid of ... the boyfriend was always complaining about hair on his pillow etc...hehe he doesn't know that secretly when he wasn't home I would let her sleep with me at night and if I had to go out and run errands often I would put her in my room so she could have the bed to herself and watch TV...she was an old lady and deserved to be comfy!

Some of you know that a little over a year ago I had to put Sage in another home because the landlord found out I had her and apparently you have to have an ankle biter sized dog or nothing. I placed her with a coworker who had similar lifestyle to my own with kids to adore her. I believe that she was well taken care of with her but she was not happy. This past October the coworker sent me an IM and asked if I would take her back. Of course...screw the landlord! I was getting my baby back. All was right with the world again.

Things had been going wonderful until the middle of last week. My Sagen got very ill...she must have gotten sick and dogs eat stuff to make them puke when they are sick...with no grass to eat she took to household things including a sock and some carpet strands...She was sick all day on Wednesday and Thursday I left work early to take her to the vet! Hundreds of dollars later they really were unable to do anything or find anything out. I got antibiotics for her and took her home with me...I honestly thought that she would be alright in the end.

I put her in the bathroom that evening when I set out to take the kids to meet the foreigner to exchange kids for the weekend. She was having issues with the barium solution draining out and she had no control over it so I thought it was best to kind of confine her. When I came home I let her outside...she went potty and came back in but she was weak and couldn't hardly lift her paws. I brought her back in the bathroom...cleaned up the floor put on crappy clothes and laid on the floor sobbing! I was and still am a mess. I held her that night on my bathroom floor, cried like a baby, told her how I loved her so much and I was sorry she was so sick and that it was OK for her to go run again...I called the vet and took her in. I held her as she rested her head against my chest and she went to sleep...I just kept telling her that it was OK and that I loved her....OMG this has got to be one of the worst things ever!

I then had to explain to my 9 year old daughter why even though she prayed for Sage to be alright that Jesus knew that Sage was really sick and that only he could make her better in heaven!

Sage was such a huge part of our family and she will be missed greatly and for those of you who don't understand the importance of an animal I wish you would have met my Sage!

Reminicing

So, tonight was eventful. I was browsing thru my facebook account and found an old friend was online at the same time. So I sent him the “hey what’s up question.” This lead to a conversation lasting over 3 hours. We talked about the old days and our friendship and why we stopped talking. Part of me felt a little guilty, not in a way that I did something wrong or anything like that. But I realized how much I missed him. We always had a good time together. It was always a blast and some of that stuff just doesn’t carry over and that makes me a little sad. But alas, as the BFF and I would always say, “It is what it is”. Just leaves me wondering if I am the only one this has happened to?

So I am now the monkey!

Well folks, here is how it works...I had this great idea and I thought man I really gotta blog about this. And so I started typing, while I should have been working. I typed and typed even found pictures for the blog...guess what I have worked so many damn hours that I didn't realize til I signed into my blog that I had already blogged about the monkeys...so you see I have become one...special in my own way...but the new pictures are fabulous so please glance thru!

Look Out for the Flying Monkeys!!!

For those of you who don’t know, I answer a lot of emails for my job…probably enough to make a person insane…which might explain a lot if you know what I mean? The variety of things that we receive is sometimes inexplicable and a lot of times from people who are outraged. This is the funniest thing I have ever experienced considering the people the emails are concerning are in their golden years and apparently completely willing to share their opinions of our ability or inability to complete our jobs.
Recently while adding to my insanity by working my 108Th hour of overtime for the month of December, my partner in crime Jules, shared with me an issue from a member where they wanted a detailed letter explaining our inadequate and incompetent impact on their account. The following is the response that I recommended for Jules to reply with:

Dear Member
We regretfully have no explanations as to why we continue to hire completely incompetent idiots when clearly a monkey would suffice. I ask myself everyday where they find the pool of morons from which we continuously hire the idiots who manage your account. I apologize that it is damn near impossible for your account to ever reflect an accurate balance. It is my intention to biatch slap each person who has ever erroneous touched your account on the next business day. Please know that not all of us are this ridiculously incompetent and I will make it my personal business to keep the morons in line so that you at least have the satisfaction that something is being done.
My Sincerest Apologies for the Inconvenience,
Your new favorite Insurance Billing Coordinator