DAY ONE
So, Country Jam was this past weekend...let me tell you about my weekend...First off I got Jamey and I tickets by buying beer! Um I don't drink beer so I now have 2 cases of beer sitting at my house...but hey what can you do...so I get the tickets and Jamey comes home early Friday so we can try to make some of the shows...well the first thing that happened which should have been an indication of the how the weekend would go was we parked (too far away because someone knew this was the good parking area), walked away from the jeep and then Jamey asked...hey did I give you the keys to the jeep...ummm NO!!! Yes that is right folks the keys were locked in the jeep...not much you can do at that point...well...we walked down to the grounds with intentions of finding Jeff...for those of you who don't know Jeff is Jamey's ex father in law...that's right father of Judge Judy star Jennifer! He is on the Altoona police force and was working Jam, so we hoped for the best. First we met up with Jamey's friend Wade and Wade's brother in law Jeremy...they got us campground passes which was a sweet deal and the only way to go in my opinion:) Any way they took us to the campgrounds to get the wristbands and then took their dear old sweet time getting us back to the Jam grounds...which was eating Jamey alive because his keys are still sitting in the jeep and since he is very anal about things well....near panic attack!!!
We no sooner walked into the grounds and ran into the second EX...the only one of the all too small and uncomfortable circle that I find myself having to associate with. Mind you this is the only one that I have never met until this point! Yay for me!!!
After our encounter of the third kind, Jamey and I found Jeff who thank God! does have connections and found a tow truck guy that he is friends with to meet Jay back at the "great parking spot"...on our way to have me go to the bathrooms and him go to the Jeep we passed the Sperm Donor...unnoticed thankfully! All was well Jamey got into the jeep, parked it at the campgrounds, rode the bus back to me from the campgrounds.
We then spent a little bit of time with my friend Heather and her boyfriend who kindly enough had brought our chairs down to the grounds for us...I want to point out they brought them down we have no idea where they are now because we didn't stick around for very long! Also to note ex girlfriend #3 apparently continually harassed Jay to get her kettle corn...wtf ever! Aghh these people.... Back to the campgrounds we went.
All in all the campgrounds were fun..with a few exceptions:
1. We have friends that are dating that fight EVERY single time we are out
2. Ex girlfriend #2 was there
3. Icky man named Scott felt the need to hump my leg every 5 minutes
I had a lot to drink, too much, even felt very friendly toward ex girlfriend #2 who by the way I have told everyone I know is a dirty whore on more than one occasion. Ohhh and I gave her hives apparently hence the name for the post! Jamey learned how to do a beer bong for the first time and LIKED it! He was quite funny too! I also talked to Jeff at the campgrounds...he is pretty cool, very unfortunate that he has loser kids!
DAY TWO
Jamey woke up feeling the pain Saturday...he finally got up to go and get his son Tony. While he was over there retrieving the boy Wade called me...says hey I am suppose to tell you to call EX Girlfriend number 2...um I don't have her number, why would I??? He gave it to me...guess what I called her and apparently you guessed it....title of the blog...I gave her hives! How you might ask...well apparently she has very sensitive skin and I gave her a hug and I must have cooties or something isn't that too funny!
So when picking up the boy from ex wife she offered free tickets to us!!! Can you even believe this! Its like a soap opera waiting to be written! Anyway they are free tickets so why not right! Ah yes, remember when your parents told you that nothing in life is free...there was a price....we had to spend the evening with ex wife, her most currently ex husband ( who is totally strange, but nice enough) and some queer friend of ex wife who between the two of them I wasn't sure who was worse. I had high hopes of meeting up with my friend Scott, who is an army recruiter, but he failed to be there...which sucks cause I sure could have used the relief of someone who is mostly stable to talk to! I was told by the current ex husband of the ex wife that he liked me because I was nicely shaped...that was slightly creepy, but I don't think he gets it so whatever. After hours of the endless torture, we finally got to leave and go back to the campground!!! That was much better since ex wife couldn't go to the campgrounds:)
As usual our friends had their normal girlfriend boyfriend fight...thank God Jamey and I aren't like that and make all our friends uncomfortable.
Again, creepy dude tried to hump on my leg...Jamey forewarned him "Hey she can take care of herself so I would be careful cause I won't stop her"....well he tried to hump on my leg one more time and that was it, I wasn't drunk enough to just brush it off I put my hand on his crotch, told him I don't enjoy you and I suggest you stop if you want to go home with all your body parts intact!! Guess what??? That works!
So long story short: a weekend of friends, ex wives, ex husband...ex every things, a humping guy and the cooties that I spread and a good time was had by me...
Keeper of the Cooties
Tammy
PS...I woke up with a huge spider bite on Sunday...thinking about going to the Dr is there a remedy for spider bites?? Or maybe I gave myself cooties!
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