The Little Things That Count

This is something that has been on my mind the last few days and thought that it would be something good to serve as a reminder that the little things in a relationship are important. We all know that there are major things that are required of a couple to make the relationship work. But often it's so easy, as we race through each day trying to accomplish an impossible number of tasks, to forget about those we love. Soon, and often unintentionally, one partner, or both, are left feeling unappreciated, overlooked and in need of some serious "TLC."

Logically, we all know that a relationship must receive attention if it is to grow. Realistically, few of us take the time to fan the relationship flames as often as we should. But help is on the way.

Showing your special someone how much you love them doesn't have to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money. In fact, it's better if it doesn't -- it's the little things that we remember most. So don't wait until next Valentine's Day to show your significant other that you love and appreciate them. Try to incorporate at least one of these romantic ideas into your partner's day, everyday (and when you've done them all, keep going by creating your own, or repeat the cycle!)

Little things count in relationships -- just think back to your last argument with your spouse. Chances are it was over a mundane, little thing. Meanwhile, most people can instinctively rattle off at least a few (but probably many) little things their mate does that drives them crazy.

So I thought that I would touch on a few of the little things that make me smile:

25 BIG Little Things to do for Your Loved One

1. If it has been a month or perhaps for some a decade or more since you told your spouse why you love them, surprise them with a compliment! Simple but very powerful!
2. Leave a little love note in your loved one's briefcase, purse or lunch.
3. Guys, put the toilet seat down.
4. Give your spouse a 15-minute scalp massage.

5. Offer to do a chore that he or she normally does.
6. Blow your loved one a kiss, or give him or her a wink, as you're walking out the door.
7. Say "I love you" when they LEAST expect it.
8. Request a special song for him or her on the radio.
9. Plan an evening out for just the two of you.
10. Change the toilet paper roll when it's empty.
11. If your Saturday nights have been involving sweat suits and pizza for too long, surprise him or her by taking the time to get dressed up.
12. Preserve some mystery and romance in your relationship by closing the bathroom door when appropriate.
13. Offer to warm up your partner's car when it's cold outside.
14. Treat your loved one to a professional massage.
15. Bring home some coffee and a fresh fruit plate (or whatever breakfast treats you enjoy) one morning while your partner is still sleeping.
16. Acknowledge the things your partner does for you.
17. Pick up your loved one's favorite snack food the next time you're at the grocery store.
18. Take the kids to a movie so your spouse can relax in the tub/go to a yoga class/watch a football game.
19. Create a new tradition together. This can be something as simple as taking a walk together to get coffee on Saturday mornings, ordering Thai food on Sunday nights, or taking the dog for a walk together after work.
20. Turn off the TV for a night and ask your partner about his or her day/dreams/concerns.
21. Write a list of what you love about your partner and tape it to the bathroom mirror before you leave for work.
22. If you know that something you do bothers your spouse, don't do it. For instance, if leaving your dirty clothes next to the hamper (instead of in it) annoys your mate, make an effort to put your clothes inside.
23. Stop at the video store on your way home one night and surprise your loved one with a movie that he or she has been wanting to see (even if you'd really rather not).
24. Clear the clutter out of your bedroom, garage, basement or kitchen counter -- without expecting anything in return.
25. Do something out of the ordinary. This can be something simple, like getting home early from work to have dinner together or getting up early with your mate (even when you don't have to), but it can a have big effect on your relationship.

The No ASSHOLE Rule!

The first step is to recognize who is an asshole.
First Method: It’s called the Starbucks Test It goes like this: If you hear someone at Starbucks order a “decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,” you’re in the presence of an asshole. It’s unlikely that this petty combination is necessary—the person ordering is trying to flex her power because she’s an asshole.

A second method is to use Suttons’s dirty-dozen list of everyday asshole actions:
Personal insults
Invading one’s personal territory
Uninvited personal contact
Threats and intimidation, both verbal and non-verbal
Sarcastic jokes and teasing used as insult delivery systems
Withering email flames
Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims
Public shaming or status degradation rituals
Rude interruptions
Two-faced attacks
Dirty looks
Treating people as if they are invisible

A third method—albeit the least reliable, scientific, and fair but the most fun—is to search Google with a person’s name (or a profession) plus “asshole.” This yields some interesting results. For example, I am associated more with the word “asshole” than Terrell Owens.

How To Avoid Being an Asshole
The first $64,000 question is, “How does one avoid being an asshole?” No big surprise, but I’ve compiled a top-ten list to summarize :

1. Face your past. The past is a very good predictor of future behavior. For example, were you a bully in school? If your parents and siblings were assholes, you may have caught the disease. Knowing that you’re an asshole is first step towards change.
2. Do not make people feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled. If you find yourself having these effects, it’s time to change your behavior no matter what you think of yourself.
3. Do not mistreat people who are less powerful than you. One of the sure signs of an asshole is treating people like clerks, flight attendants, and waiters in a degrading manner.
4. Resist assholeholics from the start. The easiest time to avoid becoming an asshole is at the very beginning. Don’t think that you can do “what you have to” to fit in and can change later. It won’t happen.
5. Walk away and stay away. Don’t be afraid to leave a bad situation. It’s unlikely you’ll change the assholes into good people; it’s much more likely that you’ll descend to their level.
6. View acting like an asshole as a communicable disease. If you have any sense of decency, when you’re sick, you avoid contact to prevent spreading the disease. So if you act like an asshole, you’re not just impacting yourself; you’re also teaching other people that it’s okay to be an asshole.
7. Focus on win-win. Children (young and old) think that the world is a zero-sum game. If another kid is playing with the fire truck, you can’t. As people get older they should realize that life doesn’t have to be a win-lose proposition--unless, that is, you’re an asshole.
8. Focus on ways you are no better or even worse than others. Thinking that you’re smarter, faster, better looking, funnier, whatever than others turns people into assholes. Thinking that you’re no better or even worse keeps you humble.
9. Focus on ways you are similar to people, not different. If you concentrate on how you and others have similar goals, desires, and passions, you’re bound to be less of an asshole. How can you treat people that are similar to you with disdain?
10. Tell yourself, “I have enough stuff (money, toys, friends, cars, whatever).” Discontentment and envy is a major factor in becoming an asshole. If you’re happy, there’s no reason to stomp on others.
How to Deal With Assholes
Let’s say that you’re not an asshole, but you have to cope with assholes. What can you do? That’s the second $64,000 question.

1. Hope for the best, but expect the worst. One of the most frustrating aspects of dealing with assholes is that they disappoint you--making you wonder the very value of humans. Lowering your expectations can help reduce disappointment. Don’t solely lower your expectations, though, or you will slip into cynicism (and possibly turn into an asshole too.) Continue to hope for the best.
2. Develop indifference and emotional detachment. In other words, don’t let the jerks get to you.
3. Look for small wins. Small victories can keep you going. Most assholes pride themselves in total control and absolute domination. Any victory, no matter how small, can keep you going. Rest assured that small victories can lead to winning the war.
4. Limit your exposure. You can do what you can to avoid meetings and interactions with assholes. This involves finding or building pockets of “safety, support, and sanity”.

5. Expose them. Marge’s Asshole Management Metric. This refers to four-point system from 0 to 3. Marge, the boss, would point to people who were behaving like assholes and hold up one, two, or three fingers according to this code:
1 = You are a normal person who can occasionally assert yourself on an issue you are passionate about, but you handle yourself in a non-confrontational way in nearly all occasions.
2 = You can consistently assert yourself in a non-confrontational way and are occasionally an asshole, but you feel horrible about it afterwards, and you may or may not apologize (but you probably will have to confess your remorse to someone).
3 = You can consistently be an asshole and you either do not recognize this or you simply enjoy it.
By the way, 0 in her system means this:
You are a very nice person, and very passive. No one can say a word against you and would never think to call you an asshole.
If you are safe in your position, then calling assholes out is a good way to deal with them.
6. De-escalate and re-educate. This strategy requires that the asshole you’re dealing with isn’t a “chronic,” “certified,” and “flagrant” asshole. It means meeting asshole behavior with calmness (instead of either similar behavior or fear) and trying to re-educate the person about how he’s behaving.
7. Stand up to them. Funny thing about assholes: Standing up to them shouldn’t necessarily scare you.

Man uses Barbie fishing rod to make record catch

ELKIN, N.C. - David Hayes' granddaughter just asked him to hold her Barbie rod and reel while she went to the bathroom. He did. And seconds later he landed the state record channel catfish at 21 pounds, 1 ounce.

Alyssa's father had bought the pink Barbie fishing rod for Christmas and she had caught a few bluegill before her grandfather hauled in the catfish. The Winston-Salem Journal reported the catch Aug. 5 in eastern Wilkes County has been certified as a record by the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission. Hayes and his granddaughter have been fishing in the pond behind his house since she was big enough to hold a pole. Hayes said his granddaughter worried he would break her rod. He landed the 21-pound fish on a 6-pound test line. It was 32 inches long, 2 inches longer than the rod.

Who says Barbie is just for girls!!!

Off to Court to Get Screwed Again!

October 2, 2008

Time 10:00AM

So once again I get to go and see the Court Commissioner whom I believe suffers from a severe case of little man syndrome. For the second time this year Brian and that hag of a mail order bride of his have decided they need to take me to court. This time it is to re establish how much he should pay in child support and also to give him more tax exemptions. Don't know why I should bother going to the court date as I know that the man with the Gavel is going to rule in favor of the man who no doubt will end up just calling in for the court date....even though according to him "it is not about the money"! Fuck that what a piece of shit...I know this is a day of negative postings and I do apologize for those of you who are having a good day but I am down right pissed and tired of getting fucked over by anything that has a penis between its legs and decides to talk. Don't expect me to be pleasant and think the world of you because I don't and I never will. Just remember, what goes around comes around, and God willing yours is coming soon.

This Just In: Kettlecorn Strikes Again!

Festival in the Pines was this weekend. An event that I generally enjoy! It has now been ruined for me forever with the revenge of Kettle Corn! Now I not only hate Kettlecorn, I hate any Festival, fair...basically any event that serves this monstrasity of a treat. I have absolutely no desire to see this crap again.

What started out as a fun adventure with Jamey's family to my favorite crafting event went arye when the Dink noticed the Kettlecorn stand and informed me "Hey look, its #4's favorite, you know what she wanted from Country Jam" to which I replied she can get her own...from that point it was on...and ladies and gentlemen I lost. I don't even fucking care any more. Because she is his friend he can get her some if he wants...and honestly I don't disagree with that...I buy shit for my friends all the time just because...the problem that I have with it is as follows....

If Dink was out strolling with or without me he would not stop and say to himself or anyone else "Hey Tammy would really like this" and stop and buy it for me...Here in lies the problem...What the hell do I mean to him....Well for those of you who have my Myspace info you will see that my attitude for the day is "used"...thats right "USED"!! I do absolutely everything for Dink and his children and at this particular time I feel like I mean nothing! Absolutely nothing! I don't even rank high enough for him to buy me some freakin kettlecorn, a soda, a piece of chewed gum. What I am good enough for is a place to stay, a kitchen to eat at, a free pair of shoes...and a massage. Hence the feeling Used....Today I would like to curl up in a ball and die!

So, Ms. Kettlecorn, here it is, you have been waiting and waiting to have him back to yourself and as of today you are way closer than you have ever been!! Come on over and get your fucking Kettlecorn and enjoy!

Random Search!

So another long nite of restlessness leads me to searching thru funny pictures on Youtube and then googling for the same picture I found on a Youtube video....I happened across this picture and had to take a second look to make sure that it wasn't The Sperm Donor's Foreign Exchange Student Albanian Wife....

For those of you who have not heard the story, The Albanian is a terrible driver, which is ironic because she works for Progressive insurance...Note to all regular and non regular readers, if you are insured thru Progressive and you have an accident that brings an Albanian man looking woman out to your site to report the claim, you might actually be in luck...since she has been in approximately 5 accidents since getting her license a few years ago, there is a good chance that she actually knows what she is reporting on. It may be in her own personal resume of accidents.

Now for the real reason the picture made me smile....in the middle of July I had to meet the Albanian to drop off the kids. This is something I am forced to due per court order...the meeting place a McDonalds in Baldwin. So, I am waiting there with my mother, always my companion for such trips, when the Albanian pulls up. I never get out of the van unless I absolutely have to...this is how I practice self restraint for what my bff likes to call the urge to light the Albanian on fire. Now, on this particular occassion I could have been nice and met her somewhere closer to the cities since I was going to Jamey's shop to take Uncle Bob out for his birthday dinner, however since the Sperm Donor and the Albanian's are pricks I did not do this and met them at the court order place at the court ordered time. I awaited her transfer of the kids into her car, which is her 2nd car, first car was involved in 3 accidents to my knowledge...alas she figures out how seatbelts and carseats work and they are off...or so she thought...she reved the engine and pulled up over the little cement barrier thing (nearly close to the one in the picture) oops must have put it in drive instead of reverse...the entire time my mother and I are laughing hysterically at the Albanian, whom I am sure can hear us. Still not realizing that she has it in drive she hits the gas again...not going far because she has her car already hung up on the cement barrier...the look of frustration on her face because she clearly still hasn't figured out that she has it in drive, not reverse, she shuts off the car, apparently thinking that she is having mechanical issues....she turns car back on and this time hits reverse...only she is so hung up that she only reves the engine....OMG, sitting in the van watching as I nearly piss my pants....finally she gives it enough gas and gets back over the hump....WOW!

So she gets on the freeway heading back to the cities with my children, driving like she is in a Nascar race...apparently she is the Jeff Gordon of Racing in Albania! Imagine the look of surprise when she sees us going the same direction!

Having to deal with the Sperm Donor ....Cost: more time/money than I can list

Watching the Albanian pick up my children....Cost: a heart attack waiting to happen

Look on Albanian's face as I pass her....Cost: worth more than you know

Sound of Sperm Donor on Sunday when we talked about the exchange of the kids when I answered that yes I did go all the way to the cities on Friday....Cost: Priceless!!!!

Restless and Laughing for no Reason

Tammy

PS The Albanian had a new car for the next pick of children!!! Wonder if it had to do with nearly ripping the engine out of the old one? Ah well who cares!

Rip Cord Again!

Its that time again to do the family excursion to Valleyfair with Uncle Bob... This time shall be better than the last time as we are going with more people and with any luck I will not be guilted into all the crazy rides that Jay is so fond of. This year there will be 11 of us all together.

Briefly, this is the strange combination of guest. Jamey's biological brother and his "not for real" real wife and their daughter Jessie will be coming to my house tomorrow evening and following me to Uncle Bobs house. For those of you who don't know Uncle Bob is part of Jamey's adoptive family and the most sweetest wonderfulist (my own word) man you will ever meet in your entire life. From Uncle Bob's house we will go to Valleyfair...all of us: Jamey, his two boys Kenny and Tony, Myself and my three kids Gabe, Kaylee and Jonathan, Jamey's brother Brad and the "not real" real wife Marsha, and their daughter Jessie...and last but certainly not least my favorite Uncle Bob...who will go to watch us all nearly crap our pants on rides, listen to the kids whine about being hungry thirsty, bored and whatever else they can think of to complain about, and the only ride that Uncle Bob will be on is the Bob Ride...this is the most important ride to locate in the entire park...for those of you who haven't figured it out...the Bob Ride is the bathroom.

So now you may be asking yourself about the picture above...there is a story behind this ride. This is the ever famous Rip Cord...Jamey spent all last summer gearing me up for the Rip Cord....when the day finally arrived he told me that I didn't have to go on it but then proceeded to pester all day about if I was going to go....I kept putting it off telling him I didn't know...well finally I had to decide as it was getting close to closing time...I agreed....what the hell was I thinking...I mean seriously!!! Below is the discription that Valleyfair provides about the Rip Cord on their Website:

An 18-story Skycoaster© ride that takes guests to a height of 180 feet. With a pull of the "rip cord" guests free-fall for an experience similar to skydiving and hang-gliding. Guests will fly at almost 60 mph. RipCord can accommodate up to three flyers per flight.

Yeah clearly I was not of sound mind when I agreed to this and I might add you have to sign a waiver for this ride...OMG, apparently I was drugged that day.

So I have agreed to the ride and suit up...my only stipulation was that he had to pull the rip cord *(and pay the extra fee). So all is going well we are all suited up and then they take you to the little box platform thing where they begin to raise you up....again all is well until I hear one of those pimply faced teenagers say "Oh oh"....um no, there is no "oh oh" when you are raising me up 180' above my children, who seriously don't need the last memories of their mother to be seeing her crash to the ground at 60 +mph....apparently in the "confusion" I ended up with the suit that had the rip cord...I refuse to believe that this was done in error...I am certain that boy who still claims his inocense in the whole ordeal knew from the beginning that I was going to have to pull the rip cord...possibly even requested it before I walked up to suit up....hmmmm....The entire way up he tried to talk to me, while I am fumbling to find the rip cord that no one bothered to show me....all I could tell him was "Shut up you lost the right to talk to me when you convinced me to get on this God forsaken ride...." Apparently in the fluery of events the pimply faced teenager and his cohort began the 1 ... 2... and yeah not quite finished with number 3 when I finally found the freakin rip cord and yonked it sending us free falling...which by the way was actually quite fun by then....The kids thought it was funny so I guess all was good in the end.

So this year the plan is to get Jessie on the Rip Cord and we have just discovered that you can go with up to three people at a time! Jessie, beward you are pulling this time girlie!!!

How to be a JACKASS in 3 Steps!

STEP ONE:

Stupidity is the quality or condition of being stupid, or lacking intelligence. This quality can be attributed to both an individual himself (e.g. John is stupid.) or his actions, words or beliefs (e.g., John's policies are stupid.). The term can thus also refer to poor use of judgement, or insensitivity to nuances in a person who is otherwise intelligent. The determination of who is stupid is relatively difficult, despite attempts to measure intelligence (and thus stupidity) such as IQ tests. The adjective is also used as a general pejorative. (e.g., I didn't borrow your stupid cap - go look for it yourself.)

1) The property of being stupid. I suppose you can put it down to gross stupidity, but that's not much of an excuse.

2) An act that is stupid. That stupidity cost me the job interview.

3) Obstinacy.

STEP TWO: Be Stubborn

Part of life is learning to deal with difficult people. Take the Know-It-All for example. Everyone who has friends, relatives or co-workers must learn to deal with this sort of menace from time to time. What follows are some ways to survive the dreaded Know-It-All.

Instructions on how to deal with a Stubborn Jackass

Step 1

Try not to become emotionally involved during your interactions with such people. Most Know-It-Alls feed off conflict. Therefore, a good way to derail them is to remain neutral throughout your conversation.
Step2

Adopt a laissez-faire attitude towards winning. Most Know-It-Alls gain their satisfaction from winning arguments. Such comments as "Whatever you say," or "You're right," will usually stop these annoying people in their tracks.
Step3

Keep your humor. One of the best weapons against difficult people is a good sense of humor. The next time a Know-It-All butts into your conversation, simply go along with them and have a good laugh at your expense. Once they realize that you won't be goaded into an argument, they'll promptly give up.
Step4

Ask them to cite their sources. Many times a Know-It-All will mask fact with fiction in order to make their opinions seem reasonable. Asking for references will give you a strong foothold on the validity of their claims.
Step5

Know your topic. If the Know-It-All is out to sabotage you, immerse yourself in the topic of debate. Be sure to have references to go along with your facts (See previous step).

Last But Certainly Not Least!!!

Step6

Avoid the Know-It-All at all costs. Sometimes the best way to deal with difficult people is to avoid them. Take the long way back to your desk, ignore their attempts at attention or simply say that you are too busy and cannot talk with them. Hopefully, they'll take the hint and go bother someone else.

The Final Step to Becoming a JACKASS!

Step 3

I would like to talk about 5 random signs your friends may have which, upon observation, classify those friends in many situations as being either narrow-minded or selfish, or both. I am writing this list as I am seeing an increasing trend of such stereotypical behaviors being promoted both online and offline. I am also including some general personal concepts of personal examples of how others see me in order to explain things more.
Even though all friends should be equal, sometimes some friends should be identified as having certain traits in order to not let such friends use the idea of friendship to take advantage of you. Realizing how and what kind of narrow-mindedness or selfishness your friend may have can help you figure out whether someone is doing it on consciously or unconsciously, even though the damage itself does not care about such things. That is why sometimes simply letting things go in a friendship can be good, and sometimes not letting things go in a friendship can be good. You have to realize answers to different things for each and every situation and friend.

Signs of narrow-minded, selfish friends
1. Friends who come close only when they are depressed
This type of friend comes close only when they are depressed. This also means that they do not interact with you even if you want to ask for some guidance or help. For such friends, your good qualities that they can use in order to become happy or happier or distracted, tend to be the only friendly aspect they wish to see in you.
Whether or not such friends realize their behavior, you can get used because of their narrow-mindedness. There is nothing wrong with being down and needing help, whether emotionally, mentally or physically. However, there is something seriously wrong with making sure that friends are only needed when you are depressed, and not appreciated on purpose when you are not depressed.

2. Friends who come close only when you agree with them
This type of friends wants everyone to agree with them. There cannot be disagreements or ignoring any topic, and if you disagree, you will be treated differently.
Handling such friends can be tricky, since handling friends overall is tricky enough by itself. How do you convince someone to still respect you and still act 100% when you disagree about something with them? Whether it is something related to business or a personal opinion about a personal issue, these friends wants everyone to agree with them. They will not show such a behavior easily, and anytime they accept disagreements or different options, they will brag about such a behavior. However, when they cannot control themselves anymore, they will hate you and not respect your friendship simply because you disagree about anything that they support, or vice versa.

3. Friends who go away when you try to pinpoint issues
This type of friends cannot hear any form of issues or problems with anything, even if such issues and problems may be affecting the friendship. Many of such friends love pointing issues themselves, but if you point them, they act weird.
Many times, two friends can be completely different. That is why if one is acting in a manner that is affect the other one negatively, it is better to bring up the issue somehow in order to address it. However, your friend might simply act distant or unresponsive if you bring up the issue even in the most respectful and light manner. If you try to bring an issue, they will become defensive or try to act rude by not focusing on the friendship aspect of things.

4. Friends who act stubborn and righteous all the time
These types of friend want to be right all the time. They are also opposed to realizing that some problem may be because of their own actions or thoughts. Many of such friends also love to point issues with others all the time, similar to the #4 type of friends above, while not accepting the fact that maybe they themselves may not be right about something.
Such supposed friends act immature many times by not actually acting like monkeys, but through their changed behavior regarding many things. This can be mainly because of being spoiled in many ways, and they do not realize it. They had rather tell others all the time what is wrong with others instead of realizing any problem in their own self.

5. Friends who hate some things about you unethically and let that hate affect their interaction with you. This can be one of the most complicated types of friends. You may have a friend who hates something about you unethically, like your race, background, your way of doing things, and because of that hate, such people will let the friendship be affected all the time, or whenever such friends feel moody.
How do we know when a friend discriminates? How do we know when a friend has racist bias against you? How do we know when a friend hates you for something like your background, your name, your gender, your sex, your job, or something else? Such questions can bother your mind when it comes to realizing why a friend is acting in a certain manner. Such questions plague me regularly when it comes to some friends I know.

Another One of Those!!!

Ok, so I am aware that some people do not have much of an opportunity to socialize on a regular basis. I am one of those people to be honest....but here is what I know to be true: no one really enjoys being invited to one of these God forsaken parties that people throw to earn prizes and incentives. And you can't honestly tell me that if you have ever had one of these guilt tripped parties that you made anything worth your while. I feel that I can say this within reason as I used to be a consultant for one major company. I stopped doing this before I even really began because I just couldn't see how it was morally right to have my friends and family have these ridiculous parties that if they were lucky they might earn an incentive that in reality was probably worth next to nothing.

That being said here is the inspiration of this blog: tonight my most favorite cousin ever had one of these wonderful parties. I know how impossible it is to get people to come to these parties mainly because they don't want to feel obligated to buy something. So knowing this I decided that I could participate and hopefully resist the urge to buy products that I really don't need. I called another one of my cousins to ask if she was coming .... I think that she intentionally "forgot" about the party, so I kindly reminded her. We meet at the other cousins house for a night of treats and guilt.

Both myself and the cousin that I reminded ended up buying...hmmm imagine that. There were lots of samples to eat and drink, so that was a bonus...with the exception of the orange dreamsicle drink thing that I personally didn't care. Everyone else thought it was fabulous, I thought if I was going to have to sample this awful drink the least they could do is add alcohol...which I think could have made this party a heck of lot more fun! Love my cousin dearly though. So we sampled and I believe that after each of the drinks I asked what kind of alcohol would go good with this....I am now certain that all of my cousin's 3 friends that felt guilty enough to come now believe me to be a complete lush! OOPS!!! Since they were already believing this I figured it was in my best interest to order 2 of the drink items that would be wonderful with some kind of liquor!!

Now for the reason these parties suck!

1. No matter if you invite a million of your closest friends and family you can be guaranteed that if you are lucky 5 will come. All who come really don't have the money to earn you that delightful product that you really didn't want either.

2. Generally speaking out of the 5 friends/family that you actually get to show up only about 1/2 will order and none will want to host a party to help you earn even more fabulous product.

3. No one really wants to be a consultant for the particular kind of party you are having but it sure seems like a good idea to at least one of your guest who in the end will spend money on products that she will never use and might possibly have 1 party of their own before deciding that this was a ridiculous idea to begin with.

4. By the end of the party "Susie Homemaker" who does this for her full time job....(by the way none of us actually believe you can make enough money doing this to quit your real job) will have driven all of the guest nuts with their crazy excited personality over the crap they are guilting you into buying.

AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST:

5. CHANCES ARE THAT BUY THE TIME YOU PAY FOR ALL THE PARTY SUPPLIES TO HAVE THE DAMN PARTY YOU WILL END UP IN THE HOLE AND THEN SOME EVEN AFTER YOU TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE $10.00 YOU EARNED IN PRODUCT BY GUILTING YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY INTO COMING TO THIS PARTY...YOU WILL SPEND EVERY MINUTE UNTIL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY GET THEIR PRODUCT WONDERING WHY YOU EVEN BOTHERED!!!

PS. I WANTED TO TAKE THIS TIME TO TELL MY COUSIN YOU ARE WELCOME FOR THE $37.00 I SPENT ON PRODUCTS THAT DON'T COME WITH THE ALCOHOL ADDED...I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND REMEMBER TO ATTEND MY NEXT GUILT RIDDEN PARTY!

For a Friend

Recently I was asked by a very good friend to define the meaning of life….I think that this is a trick question. The meaning of life I believe is different for each of us. But for the sake of definition for my friend I have decided to try to explain what I think the meaning of life is…take what you will and disregard the rest.
What's the significance of life? Who are we? Is human life just a dream, from which we never really awake, as some great thinkers claim? Are we submerged by our feelings, by our loves and hates, by our ideas of good, bad, beautiful, awful? Are we incapable of knowing beyond those ideas and feelings?Is the reality we know a reality imposed to us by nature? Is the reality and the meaning of life a creation of men, such as music, or love or colors (science tells us that there isn't such things as music, harmony or colors in the physic world. Just traveling molecules: There is not, external to us, hot or cold, but only different velocities of molecules; there aren’t sounds, callings, harmonies, but just variations in the pressure of the air; there aren’t colours, or light, just electro-magnetic waves. Are we - and all living beings - just survival machines, blindly programmed to preserve the selfish molecules known as genes, as Richard Dawkins states? Are we incapable of knowing beyond the frames imposed to us by nature? Is there any significance for life in a Universe of billions of stars that ignore us? Is there any significance for life in a Universe whose dimensions and nature overcome our understanding?Listen to the words of Pascal, in the seventeenth century: When I consider the short duration of my life, swallowed up in the eternity that lies before and after it, when I consider the little space I fill and I see, engulfed in the infinite immensity of spaces of which I am ignorant, and which know me not, I rest frightened, and astonished, for there is no reason why I should be here rather than there. Why now rather than then? Who has put me here? By whose order and direction have this place and time have been ascribed to me?
I believe that reality of it is that we all need a Purpose Driven Life. I think that all people long for a purpose. One great question underlies our experience, whether we think about it consciously or not: What is the purpose of life? I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want to suffer. From the very core of our being we simply desire contentment. When we have that part of our life going down the right road, we are at our happiest and Happiness in Life is the true meaning of life.The meaning of life resides in joy and the feelings of harmony connected to happiness; without happiness, life loses meaning. Happiness is at the heart of our lives and our demand for a meaning. A life without love and friendship is a meaningless life. The meaning of life is, largely, given by love and friendship.
This is my take on the meaning of life….it is simplistic, maybe too simplistic for some, but I do believe that it all comes down to this. Lead the life that God has planned for you. There is a purpose to everyone’s life, people will come and people will go and this is all part of God’s plan for you. Be strong and have faith that God is there for you and he plants the friendships and loves that will carry you through life and he pulls the weeds that were not meant to be. Be happy, content, and fulfilled knowing that you are a priority to someone and the answer to my prayer for a good friend. Know that I will always be here for you good or bad and that if there is anything I can do to bring you happiness I will do it so that you too know the meaning of life.