When the package arrives, you pull the handle, and your "bride" inflates.
For those of you who need a little refresher on the whole Mail Order Bride/Groom (yes they even have grooms) here is a summery before I rant...
A mail order bride or groom is a person who publishes their intent to marry someone from another - usually more well-developed - country.Historically, mail order brides were listed in catalogues and selected by men for marriage. Sometimes they were citizens of the same country, and other times they were not. They traditionally hail from lesser developed countries, such as China, Venezuela, and India. In the past, international marriage agencies would publish picture catalogues but the Internet has largely supplanted this method.It's different from an arranged marriage in that the parents have a role in choosing the bride / groom for their child. In mail-order, you pick at your own risk.
So now for my personal touch...I have this friend who is perfectly wonderful who has been dating a perfectly wonderful douche bag! She no doubt is reading this and is not clueless to how I feel about Mr. Wonderful! So here it goes....So my friend is terrifically awesome to this man, treats him like a "King" and loves him tremendously and Mr. Wonderful for the past 6 plus months has drug his feet with excuse after excuse about how he had been talking to several other women at the same time as when he started talking to my friend...and the whole oh woe is me...I just gotta know....What he just has to know is if the grass is greener on the other side. He feeds her lines of crap because he doesn't have the balls to not have a back up plan. Problem is my friend is awesome and can't let go especially since he keeps being wishy washy....so my "Jewel" of a friend who has a full heart invested in this man has stuck around for numerous others to drop out of the picture...now we are down to "the last one" or so he says...but this is where it gets just great.
Last one is from 1/2 way around the world....now I think Mr. Wonderful actually believes that she is legit, but I suspect that is because he is a freakin IDIOT (or honestly maybe it is genius on his part? it so far has worked...) um hello, she begs and begs for you to come, you agree, you get a unsolicited email about mail order brides and her picture is on the front of it (no searching needed) and you let her explain it away as an interpreting company who also does mail order brides....are you serious...are you freakin serious. What kind of a Dickhead do you have to be. Top that off with your last point of contact with her being that she wants to introduce you to the parental units, ask daddy for permission to marry his daughter...make references to "our kids" and "our house"...and you think all she wants is to meet you...If you insist on going to just "meet" her to easy your conscious I would be sure to check your luggage for stowaways when you come back...
What kind of fucking idiot do you have to be to fly 1/2 way around the world to meet a woman who can't speak English, posts her picture on websites aimed at Morons in the United States, tells you she is only looking for an American man, and loses touch with you on occasion (in particular when something occurs that would cause suspicion of her intentions). I have thought a lot of men were losers, I have thought a lot of men were idiots, but this man is pure ASSHOLE as he requests that my friend who is phenomenal wait so that he knows for sure that the grass isn't greener on the other side...So for those of you wondering about all the asshole pictures on the blog...those are directed at Mr. Wonderful!
Mr. Wonderful, what you should know is that My Friend is absolutely PHENOMENAL and deserves better than you and for some unknown ungodly unexplainable reason has chosen to lay her heart on the line for you. If you had a pair of balls you would wake up and realize that the greener grass you are looking for has already been by your side for months now treating you like a KING!!! Wake the fuck up!
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