So another long nite of restlessness leads me to searching thru funny pictures on Youtube and then googling for the same picture I found on a Youtube video....I happened across this picture and had to take a second look to make sure that it wasn't The Sperm Donor's Foreign Exchange Student Albanian Wife....
For those of you who have not heard the story, The Albanian is a terrible driver, which is ironic because she works for Progressive insurance...Note to all regular and non regular readers, if you are insured thru Progressive and you have an accident that brings an Albanian man looking woman out to your site to report the claim, you might actually be in luck...since she has been in approximately 5 accidents since getting her license a few years ago, there is a good chance that she actually knows what she is reporting on. It may be in her own personal resume of accidents.
Now for the real reason the picture made me smile....in the middle of July I had to meet the Albanian to drop off the kids. This is something I am forced to due per court order...the meeting place a McDonalds in Baldwin. So, I am waiting there with my mother, always my companion for such trips, when the Albanian pulls up. I never get out of the van unless I absolutely have to...this is how I practice self restraint for what my bff likes to call the urge to light the Albanian on fire. Now, on this particular occassion I could have been nice and met her somewhere closer to the cities since I was going to Jamey's shop to take Uncle Bob out for his birthday dinner, however since the Sperm Donor and the Albanian's are pricks I did not do this and met them at the court order place at the court ordered time. I awaited her transfer of the kids into her car, which is her 2nd car, first car was involved in 3 accidents to my knowledge...alas she figures out how seatbelts and carseats work and they are off...or so she thought...she reved the engine and pulled up over the little cement barrier thing (nearly close to the one in the picture) oops must have put it in drive instead of reverse...the entire time my mother and I are laughing hysterically at the Albanian, whom I am sure can hear us. Still not realizing that she has it in drive she hits the gas again...not going far because she has her car already hung up on the cement barrier...the look of frustration on her face because she clearly still hasn't figured out that she has it in drive, not reverse, she shuts off the car, apparently thinking that she is having mechanical issues....she turns car back on and this time hits reverse...only she is so hung up that she only reves the engine....OMG, sitting in the van watching as I nearly piss my pants....finally she gives it enough gas and gets back over the hump....WOW!
So she gets on the freeway heading back to the cities with my children, driving like she is in a Nascar race...apparently she is the Jeff Gordon of Racing in Albania! Imagine the look of surprise when she sees us going the same direction!
Having to deal with the Sperm Donor ....Cost: more time/money than I can list
Watching the Albanian pick up my children....Cost: a heart attack waiting to happen
Look on Albanian's face as I pass her....Cost: worth more than you know
Sound of Sperm Donor on Sunday when we talked about the exchange of the kids when I answered that yes I did go all the way to the cities on Friday....Cost: Priceless!!!!
Restless and Laughing for no Reason
Tammy
PS The Albanian had a new car for the next pick of children!!! Wonder if it had to do with nearly ripping the engine out of the old one? Ah well who cares!
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