Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Rip Cord Again!


Its that time again to do the family excursion to Valleyfair with Uncle Bob... This time shall be better than the last time as we are going with more people and with any luck I will not be guilted into all the crazy rides that Jay is so fond of. This year there will be 11 of us all together.
Briefly, this is the strange combination of guest. Jamey's biological brother and his "not for real" real wife and their daughter Jessie will be coming to my house tomorrow evening and following me to Uncle Bobs house. For those of you who don't know Uncle Bob is part of Jamey's adoptive family and the most sweetest wonderfulist (my own word) man you will ever meet in your entire life. From Uncle Bob's house we will go to Valleyfair...all of us: Jamey, his two boys Kenny and Tony, Myself and my three kids Gabe, Kaylee and Jonathan, Jamey's brother Brad and the "not real" real wife Marsha, and their daughter Jessie...and last but certainly not least my favorite Uncle Bob...who will go to watch us all nearly crap our pants on rides, listen to the kids whine about being hungry thirsty, bored and whatever else they can think of to complain about, and the only ride that Uncle Bob will be on is the Bob Ride...this is the most important ride to locate in the entire park...for those of you who haven't figured it out...the Bob Ride is the bathroom.
So now you may be asking yourself about the picture above...there is a story behind this ride. This is the ever famous Rip Cord...Jamey spent all last summer gearing me up for the Rip Cord....when the day finally arrived he told me that I didn't have to go on it but then proceeded to pester all day about if I was going to go....I kept putting it off telling him I didn't know...well finally I had to decide as it was getting close to closing time...I agreed....what the hell was I thinking...I mean seriously!!! Below is the discription that Valleyfair provides about the Rip Cord on their Website:
An 18-story Skycoaster© ride that takes guests to a height of 180 feet. With a pull of the "rip cord" guests free-fall for an experience similar to skydiving and hang-gliding. Guests will fly at almost 60 mph. RipCord can accommodate up to three flyers per flight.
Yeah clearly I was not of sound mind when I agreed to this and I might add you have to sign a waiver for this ride...OMG, apparently I was drugged that day.
So I have agreed to the ride and suit up...my only stipulation was that he had to pull the rip cord *(and pay the extra fee). So all is going well we are all suited up and then they take you to the little box platform thing where they begin to raise you up....again all is well until I hear one of those pimply faced teenagers say "Oh oh"....um no, there is no "oh oh" when you are raising me up 180' above my children, who seriously don't need the last memories of their mother to be seeing her crash to the ground at 60 +mph....apparently in the "confusion" I ended up with the suit that had the rip cord...I refuse to believe that this was done in error...I am certain that boy who still claims his inocense in the whole ordeal knew from the beginning that I was going to have to pull the rip cord...possibly even requested it before I walked up to suit up....hmmmm....The entire way up he tried to talk to me, while I am fumbling to find the rip cord that no one bothered to show me....all I could tell him was "Shut up you lost the right to talk to me when you convinced me to get on this God forsaken ride...." Apparently in the fluery of events the pimply faced teenager and his cohort began the 1 ... 2... and yeah not quite finished with number 3 when I finally found the freakin rip cord and yonked it sending us free falling...which by the way was actually quite fun by then....The kids thought it was funny so I guess all was good in the end.
So this year the plan is to get Jessie on the Rip Cord and we have just discovered that you can go with up to three people at a time! Jessie, beward you are pulling this time girlie!!!

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